Dear Eric, I was sad to hear of Jean's death but I think you two made the best of all the days that were given to you. I am comforted to know that she is not suffering anymore from the dreadful Alzheimer's disease. My memories of Jean and all of you go way back. I have somewhere a lovely photo of your daughter Carole (and her friend Beth) at about 8 years old (March 1975) when we celebrated our daughter's first birthday. Already your family was giving generously to ours through friendship of all kinds. I don't actually remember how we first connected but I suspect it was Jean who took the first step. I have remembered, guiltily, I must say, the innumerable afternoon hours when, out of loneliness, I suppose, I sat at your table and had a cup of tea and some of Jean's wonderful baking; she must have been bored to death, at times, from my presence, but certainly never showed it. She was always there for me. My conversation, at the time, must have surely only centered on baby stuff...
Jean taught me to cook Indian foods; I even have a recipe book from Kodaikanal, from her that was printed as a fundraiser, I believe. I use some of the recipes and think of her each time; the one of the string beans with mustard seeds and cumin always draws positive comments and a request to pass on the recipe.
I will never forget this funny little incident: It was during the Christmas season; it was either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. Jean was worried that some of the parishioners might not have anyone to spend the evening with, so she had invited one and all who would otherwise be alone, to come to St. Mark's Lutheran Church Hall. She had baked a large tinful of cookies, as she always did on those occasions. She was a bit rushed that evening, and at the appointed time, she grabbed her coat and put on her boots in a hurry, somehow dropping the tin of cookies. The cover flew off and all the cookies were all over the floor which had either a small mat or was covered with a rug. I don't remember exactly which. What could she do? It was too late to bake another batch. She picked up the cookies in a hurry and stuffed them back in the tin. She made it to the church in plenty of time, as no one actually showed up, which made her very happy as it must have meant that everyone had a place to go on the special evening.
A couple of days later, I dropped by at your house and all of a sudden, Jean remembered the "unopened" tin of cookies; she produced it for my little daughter and me to help ourselves. Lo and behold, I pulled out one cookie and it was covered with carpet fluff; I pulled another and it was the same. All the cookies in the tin were just covered with fluff and dirt... We laughed so hard, we both had cramps, and Jean commented on how the Good Lord had saved her from this ignominy in front of the parishioners.
I remember a lovely week spent at your place in Kitchener with my sons when they were 4 and 5 years old. How they loved the dancing Indian lady whose head moved from left to right! It might be what kindled my desire to visit India. Despite the terrible accident when an unfortunate young woman on her way to start her holidays, went through a red light and slammed into the side of your car, destroying it, we all survived without a scratch; I don't know if this had anything to do with you being so close to God.
You and Jean never reproached me my agnostic or even atheistic views. You never tried to push religion on me; you preached by your example. I still think it makes no difference what or who you believe in; it is how you live your life that counts. If I have gained any wisdom at all through the years, you must take some of the credit. Your family is so exemplary in so many ways. I have been terrible at staying in touch but I have never forgotten all your kindnesses. I wish you some great moments at your new residence, Eric. No doubt, many will be thrilled to have this handsome, smart and chatty newcomer among them. with lots of love.